Some Things To Chew On From The Last Week....

My liver is a Steelers fan.

It's rejoicing because the Steelers were able to do what AA or everyone else has failed to over the last two years.

Keep me out of Blondies on NFL Playoff Sunday.

After late nights of drinking on Friday and Saturday at my favorite watering hole, I had told several friends of mine that I planned to complete the drunken trifecta on Sunday.

Until I realized who was playing in the first game. Steelers At Colts.

Growing up in New York, I was a huge fan of the Steel Curtain teams of the 70's. I even owned a Steelers helmet. With the Giants stinking up the joint in the seventies, the Steelers were my adopted team.

That was before I actually had met any Steelers fans from Pittsburgh.

There is where I experienced my first sports conundrum. How can you like a team and hate its fanbase?

This is what I deal with when I watch the Steelers play on Sundays.

I like their coach. I like their QB, Big Ben. Hines Ward is one of my favorites among active players. I even like the Bus, although I hate his alma mater Notre Dame. Polamalu is a Trojan so I'm definitely a fan. I love the way the team plays the game.

But I despise the fanbase. The mob mentality. The sheer magnitude of their ignorance of the rules of the game. The lack of decorum. The bluster. As bad as Eagles fans only worse. They actually have four Super Bowls to brag about. Doesn't matter that the last one was before many of their fans were able to wipe their ass. It's still theirs.

I was at Blondies when Carson Palmer's knee exploded after a late hit. I had to listen to the assholes behind me cheer as he was carted off the field. Considering the fact that 1)I'm a USC fan and 2)I was in a foul mood after my Giants got raped by the Panthers, that I'm shocked that I was able to keep myself from making the troglodytes eat glass. I was so angry watching that game that all I saw was red for a full two hours after the game.

That weekend made me realize that if I keep courting trouble, it's going to find me in spades. And I've been very careful about tempting the fates over the years.

So I decided to forego Blondies until either the end of the playoffs or the Steelers get knocked out. Whichever comes first.

It's as if my liver was waving a Terrible Towel just to get my attention. All I know is this....whatever money, it's wagered in Vegas....I want half! Otherwise is cirrhosis city from here on in. I'll make Nicholas Cage in Leaving Las Vegas look like Andrew Volstead.

You'd think man whose current run of success in the NFL, started after one of the worst call in the history of professional sports wouldn't be the one who whined after a couple of questionable calls went against them in a playoff game...right?

I guess Bill Bellicheck didn't get the keep your mouth shut memo.

The Tuck Rule doesn't happen...chances are we're talking about the Raiders winning two straight Super Bowls instead of the Pats. Because Gruden never leaves Oakland. He probably beats the Rams. Never gets to share all of his trade secrets about the Silver and Black to Sapp, Brooks & company and he probably beats them as well. Brady and Bill are also-rans. Think Peyton and Dungy Northeast.

But because of the Tuck Rule, Brady becomes the NFL's poster boy, Bill becomes this generation's Lombardi and the Raiders get Norv Turner and Kerry Collins. Doesn't seem fair does it?

But I guess in forgetting his Lucky Bastard roots, Bill decided to rip the officiating in his loss to Denver on Saturday.

Now I can see why Jets fans despise this man. He shows zero personality most of the time and when does come out of his shell...he's a spiteful, little troll.

Here's hoping he has more to be pissed about in the next few years.

I only have one thing to say about the Colts and their loss to Blitzburgh.

Before Peyton throws his O-Line under bus...he should look at the tape where he's doing his Nicholas Brothers imitation in the pocket.

Happy feet? Those mugs were downright joyous the way they were tapping. I thought he was auditioning for Bring In The Noise, Bring In The Funk.

Mad Dog asked Mike the other day if it's fair to look at his failures against Florida.

I have only one thing to say that. The year after Peyton graduated, Tee Martin took that same team and not only beat the Gators. He won the National title.

I'll let you smart folks come to your own conclusions.

I hear Peyton means Bridesmaid in Gaelic.

Jets fans are excited that they got Pats leftovers to coach their team. How the mighty have fallen.

Then again, these are the Jets. Mighty and New York Jets should never be used in the same sentence.

I wish the 12 year old luck. He's probably an improvement over Herman Edwards.

Gotta give Mr "Miracle At The Meadowlands" credit though. He knows the game. He's a born hustler. How else can you explain a mediocre coach who just experienced a 4-12 season...getting a better job in a better situation?

Jets fans are upset that all they got was fourth round pick. Shoot. I wouldn't have given up a bottle of Mr Pibb and Red Vines for Herman Edwards. He's a mediocre coach at best. He'll never make your team better. If you give him a 10-6 team, if everything goes right, they'll go 10-6. They'll never 12-4 or 13-3. He'll never give you that extra edge that could mean the difference between a division title and a wildcard. He's playing Uno, while guys like the two Bills, Joe Gibbs and others are playing Bobby Fisher-Level Chess. It's like the other team having Omar Bradley or Patton and you have John Kerry or John McCain. Your guys are nice and have some experience....the other guys have classes taught about them and what they do.

Chiefs fans will find out soon enough. If Mangini turns out to be the real thing, Jets fans, you should send him a thank you card.

The Orioles have to be the worst run organization in the all of sports.

Not only do they give up a 30 year old stud left-handed closer to a division rival, they replace Raphael Palmiero with Kevin Millar at first base.

Kevin Millar.

Kevin Millar!

Did Orioles brass actually watch any of their 19 games with the Red Sox. Here's right-handed pull hitter playing in right-handed pull-hitter paradise...and he still sucked!!!!

As a Yankee fan, I just wish the Jays and the Sox were as stupid as the Orioles. Although I'm starting to have my doubts about the Lucchino-run Sox.

Maybe he's drinking that Baltimore Bay juice....

False Advertising

Ok I'm back. I'm calm, cool and collected. I can blog again.

But I'm still pissed off about Sunday.

It was like going to a movie and expecting to see the Natural, Remember the Titans or North Dallas Forty. And instead being forced to watch Brokeback Mountain or the Hours. Just utterly depressing.

In the upcoming draft, if we draft anything other than a linebacker or defensive back in first few rounds, then I don't know what Ernie Acorsi is thinking. We need depth at both positions, because bringing guys in off the street just ain't cutting it.

Nick Griesen says he's filing for free agency because he wants to start somewhere. After DeShaun Foster made him his personal bitch for four quarters, anyone who wants to sign this stiff as a starter must have whips and chains in their bedroom. The Marquis De Sade's (or his great, great grandson's) number must be on their speed dial. I lost count how many times he was at the point of attack either at the line of scrimmage or behind it. But instead of making the tackle, he either got his ankles broken or trucked by Foster. Tony Dorsett or Earl Campbell....the Window or the Stairs...your choice, Nick.

Have fun getting your ankles broken on the Lions. Matt Millen will be retarded enough to sign you.

On paper, a starting linebacker corps of Antonio Pierce, Barett Green and Carlos Emmons is pretty good. Now if only we can get them all on the field together. Emmons will be 34 next year, so Pierce and Green have to be anchors next season. And that's no guarantee when you consider Green and Coughlin weren't exactly bossom buddies last year. I like Pierce and I love the energy he brings to his team. We have to draft smart and get some LB's in here. Ballhawks who can tackle.

As for the DBs, I think Corey Webster and Gibril Wilson are going to be players. But I think we either need to draft or look at free agency to fill in the gaps. Will Allen has to go. He's an ok cover guy, but he has hands of stone. But I'll throw up in my mouth, if I think of all the INTs he's dropped over the years. And worse, the times where the defense gives up a big gain right after his drop. Will Peterson, too. His injury makes it easier to jettison his ass.

The offense needs to take a long look in the mirror as well. Eli's taken a beating the last few weeks to be sure. Tiki needed to look at the tape before he threw the coaches under the bus. Superior coaching was only part of it. Great teams and players make plays even when the opposition knows what's coming. They enforce their will onto the situation and make something of nothing. The Panthers did that all day long. Running draws on third and long and getting the first down? That's not play-calling. That's determination and superior execution. All the coaches can do is prepare the players and call the plays. They can't suit up and play for them.

I hope the offense does get become a little more sophisticated as Eli becomes more comfortable. But even with a green QB at the helm, the Giants had more than enough to beat the Panthers. At the very least make it competitive.

The exact opposite of the last two years happened this season. Instead of injuries in the beginning and the middle of the season, they all happened at the end this time. And usually in the NFL, the healthy teams go deep into January. Look at the Pats, they got everyone in back in time for their playoff run. Their coach and QB kept them afloat until the reinforcements arrived.

I'm not going to go as far as MadDog Russo and say that this loss eliminates everything we've accomplished this year. It's an awful loss. But when you consider how far they've come since training camp. I'm excited about the future. We have a nucleus to build around on both sides of the ball. The Giants are relevant again and we have this team to thank for that.

But until then...here are the jokes....deal with it boys...


Q. What do you call 47 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?

A. The New York Giants


Q. What do the New York Giants and Billy Graham have in common?

A. They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ."


Q. How do you keep a New York Giant out of your yard?

A. Put up goal posts.


Q. Where do you go in New Jersey in case of a tornado?

A. To Giant's Stadium - they never get a touchdown there!


Q. What do you call a New York Giant with a Super Bowl ring?

A. A thief


Q. What's the difference between the Giants and a dollar bill?

A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.


Q. How many New York Giants does it take to win a Super Bowl?

A. Nobody knows, and we may never find out.


Q. What do the New York Giants and possums have in common?

A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.


Growing up, I've always been wary of preachers and evangelists. Maybe it's been the pagan or the iconoclast in me, but all that preaching, fire and brimstone, rah-rah stuff has always made me uneasy.

That's why despite personally liking Herman Edwards (despite the Miracle in the Meadowlands), I've always been put off with all the Elmer Gantry-esque showings during his press conferences.

Those performances made folks forget the most important fact about the former Jets coach. He was an average coach who delegated the x's and o's because that wasn't his strong suit. And when things went bad, he never shouldered the blame. So it's not surprising that despite going 4-12 during a injury filled campaign, he had the gall to ask for an extension and raise.

I understand Herm was one of the lowest paid head coaches in the league....living in the county with the highest property taxes in the country (Nassau County). But he signed the contract, nobody forced him to do it. As badly as the Jets have handled this thing, Herm is equally to blame.

The big losers in all this? The Chiefs. They get an average coach who will not get them back to the Big Dance.

The Jets? They better think long hard on who they choose because the wrong choice could set this team back a decade. You could be looking at the New York Bungals if they don't pick the right man to captain this ship.

Narnija.....Crazy Delicious

The next time that I have some time to kill before a party...don't see a movie that 1)kids and their parents will probably see and 2)was spoofed on SNL and the Internet.

Made the mistake the of seeing The Chronicles of Narnija tonight before going to a friend birthday party. Bad mistake.

It was a good movie, but I couldn't take it seriously. Between the kids yelling and screaming throughout the flick and the Lazy Sunday SNL spoof, I was too through.

If I wasn't wishing harm on some poor kid and his parents, I was thinking that Mr Pibb + Red Vines = Crazy Delicious.

Almost makes someone want to see Brokeback Mountain....NOT!!!!

What A Way To Start Off The New Year!!

No Victory Crip Walks for Snoop and USC.

I wish I could tell you that I wasn't pissed that the Men of Troy lost to UT Wednesday night. But you know that I'd lying through my teeth. The fact that I was watching a game and a performance for the ages didn't diminish my anger at the fact that USC should have won this game by two touchdowns.

I didn't need anyone to tell me that it was going to be a tough closely contested game. I'd seen enough of Texas this year to know that they were capable of beating anyone this side of the NFL and that Vince Young was an absolute monster.

What I didn't know was that Vince was going to go from college monster to the College Gridiron's version of Zeus. His performance has to be considered one of the five greatest performances in a championship game. In any sport. Unbelievable.

If this kid doesn't come out this year, he's a fool. His stock can't get any higher than it is now. The Stay In School lobby needs to shut up on this one. This is a no-brainer. Education is important for a person long-term growth as a human being. But one of the reasons, as a friend pointed out to me after the game, you go to college is to get a job and make money. Riddle me this, Batman....what is Vince Young going to learn in his last year of school that's going enable him to earn a $10 million signing bonus and a huge endorsement deal without actually ever playing a down in the NFL?

If he wants go back for his degree later, nothing's stopping him. But the cheddar is there for him right now and he needs take advantage of it. He's climbed the mountain and slayed the dragon. There's nothing left for him to prove.

That being said, USC could have prevented all the pain and suffering that Trojan nation felt Wednesday night. They were killing the Texas defense softly all game with screens, intermediate pass paterns and a large dose of Lendale White. Texas kept Reggie Bush from going Playstation on them. But Leinart had so many options, the Longhorns couldn't cope. All they could hope for was for was Carroll to get impatient for the home run ball and force a mistake.

The football gods were in a generous mood. Not only did USC fail on fourth down conversion on the 15 yard line in the first, they get Reggie Bush's brainlock when he fumbled a lateral attempt at the end of a long pass play that would have put them in scoring position and a Matt Leinart interception in the endzone in the second quarter.

Each situation, the USC offense was in control of the game. All they had to do was continue to take what the defense was giving them and move down the field. Instead they got impatient and went for the kill prematurely. They left anywhere from nine to 17 points on the board by drifting away from the gameplan.

They sort of reminded me of the Yankees in 2004 and 2005 in the playoffs. Always going for the homerun when a single or a double to the opposite field would do the trick. Take what the defense gives you. It's not as dramatic as a shot to the head or a sword to the gut. But eventually your opponent will bleed to death. John McEnroe and 1998 Yankees were the masters of this.

I can't get angry at the fourth and two attempt at the end of the attempt. Pete knew that whoever had the ball last was probably going to win. He wanted to take the game out of his defense's hands. Young had them his plaything all game and he didn't want to risk it. I question the decisions that put his team in that situation in the first place. If he was a little more patient and Bush didn't try to hot dog earlier, they would have the game by at least two touchdowns.

The defensive back who called the timeout at the end because they weren't ready for the two point conversion should be thrown under a bus.

So kudos to Texas and Mack Brown. They won fair and square. They were good enough to get it done. But I agree with Matt Leinart, I don't think that the better team won.

Playoffs ?!?! Playoffs?!?!?

So the G-Men will make their playoff appearance in three years when they face off against Carolina on Sunday. I like Carolina. Was a big fan of John Fox when he was here. Julius Peppers and Steve Smith are two of my favorite players in the league. If they win Sunday, I could totally see them running the table to the Super Bowl where they will be dispatched by the Colts.

That being said, they're not winning Sunday.

I think the Giants are the better team. They're more balanced offensively, their offensive line is healthy and I think they'll get enough of a push from their defensive line to make Jake Delhomme uncomfortable.

People keep talking about how Jake's experience. What I see is a QB who relies way too much on one player. Something a good defensive coaching staff can use to their advantage. Smith had more receptions, yards and touchdowns than rest of the other Panther receivers and tight ends had combined. I think the Giants will find a way to limit Smith's touches and force the other players to make plays. The Giants will also control clock with a mix of underneath passing routes and a good dose of Tiki on the side.

Final Score Giants 24, Panthers 14





My other picks..Steelers over the Bengals 22-17, Pats over the Jags 17-14, Bucs over the Skins 20-10.