What I've Learned This Week
That if you're T.O, Karma isn't just a bitch. It's a man-hating 6'2'' machete-bearing lesbian.
That the Jets can make this season interesting if they can get a running game going. And that Chad Pennington will have a lot of bastards owing him an apology at season's end.
That Katt Williams is a funny Mofo. And Dane Cook is not. If you don't believe me, go on HBO In Demand and watch their comedy specials. The fact that they gave Cook an hour and a half is bugging me out. You can't possibly less funny than this corny bastard.
That the Wire is the best show on TV.
That the White Sox are done. And that Frank Thomas, a legitmate MVP candidate, has gotten a revenge he doesn't deserve.
That if there isn't a Subway Series this fall, that this winter for one or both of the New York teams will feel like an Ice Age. Mammoths not included.
That Ohio State is the best college football team in the country. And that Troy Smith is a top 10 pick in the next draft.
That Notre Dame as always, is overrated. That Weiss, realizing he'll never win a national title there, will be gone for the NFL within three years.
That you might see a USC vs OSU in the National title game.
That Miami is a great school for running backs, but a horrible school for QBs.
That A-Rod's legacy will be made this postseason. For better or worse.
That Jeter, if he were hit by a bus tomorrow, is a first ballot hall of fame player. But not a HOF captain. A great captain is a captain for the whole team, not just for the guys he likes. If he was, he would have nipped some of this A-Rod stuff in the bud sooner. Instead, he let it linger. In that sense, he's no better than Thurman Munson in 1977 in handling Reggie.
That getting Sheffield's bat back for the postseason was huge. But his performance at first base last night could be the key to another crown for the Yankees.
That Tiger Woods is the man. He's the best non-team sports athlete of my lifetime, but the way he's handled his father's death and all the tabloid mess about his wife makes him even bigger in my eyes. If the mainstream press establishment could see him for what he is instead of analyzing him for what he's not....
That Omar Minaya is the executive of the year in baseball. Hands down. And that Brian Cashman is a close second. Forget money. It's a GM's job to put their team in the best position to win and that's exactly what these guys did. The Abreu deal might have been the biggest deal at the deadline, but the Mota deal could be the one that gets the Mets back to the Fall Classic.
That Jimmy Leyland is the manager of the year in baseball. But his counterpart in the NL, Joe Girardi, will be looking for a job in the offseason because the Marlins owner is an idiot.
That Jason Giambi is a prime example of a truism my mother once told me; People might forget what you do to them or for them. But they never forget how you make them feel. A lot of people in that Yankee clubhouse liked Jason Giambi before the whole BALCO mess. And they like him now. That's why he has the clout to talk to someone who will go down as one of the greatest players of all time like he was a Columbus callup.
That sleep isn't overrated. Just the opposite.
That the Giants win over the Eagles was huge. But a win in Seattle would really open some eyes around the league.
That the Redskins who suck, suck even more without Clinton Portis.
That the Eagles are a 250 carry a year back away from going back to the Super Bowl. And that Donovan McNabb is the most underrated great player in the league.
That the Cardinals, with Braeden Looper as their closer, are one and done in the postseason.
That Tony LaRussa, despite the bad press to the contrary, is a great manager. But he can't pitch.
That Ryan Howard will probably win the MVP, and deservedly so. But Albert Pujols is still the man. Look inside the numbers closely and you'll see why. And he's younger than Howard as well!
That the Bears will do what they always do. Beat up on the weaker teams, make the playoffs and then lose to a team that actually play pro football.
That Brett Favre was done three years ago. Even if you put him on a playoff ready team. He'll throw five picks against a good defense.
That Eli might not put up his brother's stats. But he'll win a title before Peyton does. Look at how the two handle adversity or bad losses and you'll see why.
That Tom Brady is the best QB in football, but key to the Patriots season is Lawrence Maroney.
That Bill Bellichick is an asshole, but Mangini and Tannenbaum are sneaky assholes. See the Deion Branch debacle.
That Deion Branch is not worth a first round pick. And Seattle will find out the hard way.
That the New Orleans Saints should stay the New Orleans Saints. LA had two teams and lost both. In my eyes, that bars you from having the opportunity to stealing someone else's. Number two TV market be damned.
That Little Miss Sunshine is one of the funniest movies I've seen in years. That Joel Sherman is a better book writer than a columnist.
That Roger Kahn is still the best baseball writer that I've ever read. But Tom Verducci is a pretty darn close second.
That it's time for me to wrap this up so I can get up in the morning and go to the zoo.
That the Jets can make this season interesting if they can get a running game going. And that Chad Pennington will have a lot of bastards owing him an apology at season's end.
That Katt Williams is a funny Mofo. And Dane Cook is not. If you don't believe me, go on HBO In Demand and watch their comedy specials. The fact that they gave Cook an hour and a half is bugging me out. You can't possibly less funny than this corny bastard.
That the Wire is the best show on TV.
That the White Sox are done. And that Frank Thomas, a legitmate MVP candidate, has gotten a revenge he doesn't deserve.
That if there isn't a Subway Series this fall, that this winter for one or both of the New York teams will feel like an Ice Age. Mammoths not included.
That Ohio State is the best college football team in the country. And that Troy Smith is a top 10 pick in the next draft.
That Notre Dame as always, is overrated. That Weiss, realizing he'll never win a national title there, will be gone for the NFL within three years.
That you might see a USC vs OSU in the National title game.
That Miami is a great school for running backs, but a horrible school for QBs.
That A-Rod's legacy will be made this postseason. For better or worse.
That Jeter, if he were hit by a bus tomorrow, is a first ballot hall of fame player. But not a HOF captain. A great captain is a captain for the whole team, not just for the guys he likes. If he was, he would have nipped some of this A-Rod stuff in the bud sooner. Instead, he let it linger. In that sense, he's no better than Thurman Munson in 1977 in handling Reggie.
That getting Sheffield's bat back for the postseason was huge. But his performance at first base last night could be the key to another crown for the Yankees.
That Tiger Woods is the man. He's the best non-team sports athlete of my lifetime, but the way he's handled his father's death and all the tabloid mess about his wife makes him even bigger in my eyes. If the mainstream press establishment could see him for what he is instead of analyzing him for what he's not....
That Omar Minaya is the executive of the year in baseball. Hands down. And that Brian Cashman is a close second. Forget money. It's a GM's job to put their team in the best position to win and that's exactly what these guys did. The Abreu deal might have been the biggest deal at the deadline, but the Mota deal could be the one that gets the Mets back to the Fall Classic.
That Jimmy Leyland is the manager of the year in baseball. But his counterpart in the NL, Joe Girardi, will be looking for a job in the offseason because the Marlins owner is an idiot.
That Jason Giambi is a prime example of a truism my mother once told me; People might forget what you do to them or for them. But they never forget how you make them feel. A lot of people in that Yankee clubhouse liked Jason Giambi before the whole BALCO mess. And they like him now. That's why he has the clout to talk to someone who will go down as one of the greatest players of all time like he was a Columbus callup.
That sleep isn't overrated. Just the opposite.
That the Giants win over the Eagles was huge. But a win in Seattle would really open some eyes around the league.
That the Redskins who suck, suck even more without Clinton Portis.
That the Eagles are a 250 carry a year back away from going back to the Super Bowl. And that Donovan McNabb is the most underrated great player in the league.
That the Cardinals, with Braeden Looper as their closer, are one and done in the postseason.
That Tony LaRussa, despite the bad press to the contrary, is a great manager. But he can't pitch.
That Ryan Howard will probably win the MVP, and deservedly so. But Albert Pujols is still the man. Look inside the numbers closely and you'll see why. And he's younger than Howard as well!
That the Bears will do what they always do. Beat up on the weaker teams, make the playoffs and then lose to a team that actually play pro football.
That Brett Favre was done three years ago. Even if you put him on a playoff ready team. He'll throw five picks against a good defense.
That Eli might not put up his brother's stats. But he'll win a title before Peyton does. Look at how the two handle adversity or bad losses and you'll see why.
That Tom Brady is the best QB in football, but key to the Patriots season is Lawrence Maroney.
That Bill Bellichick is an asshole, but Mangini and Tannenbaum are sneaky assholes. See the Deion Branch debacle.
That Deion Branch is not worth a first round pick. And Seattle will find out the hard way.
That the New Orleans Saints should stay the New Orleans Saints. LA had two teams and lost both. In my eyes, that bars you from having the opportunity to stealing someone else's. Number two TV market be damned.
That Little Miss Sunshine is one of the funniest movies I've seen in years. That Joel Sherman is a better book writer than a columnist.
That Roger Kahn is still the best baseball writer that I've ever read. But Tom Verducci is a pretty darn close second.
That it's time for me to wrap this up so I can get up in the morning and go to the zoo.
posted by Darth Marc at 4:10 AM
2 Comments:
I'm worried. I agree with you on something. I liked Little Miss Sunshine as well. Funny stuff, though disturbing.
I also like how you called Jeter out. Good stuff.
You're slowly turning, youngling...It won't be long now...
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